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50 Ways to leave your pager: Why it’s time to think pager replacement.

Why is it time to think about pager replacement?

An effective way to re-use your pager - courtesy of Reddit.
An effective way to re-use your pager – courtesy of Reddit.

Perhaps the need for finding a pager alternative is clear to many realize the inefficiency and time waste caused by using the device. These facts are highlighted in an article from 2014 entitled Why Are Hospitals Still Using Pagers?, Cliff McClintick writes “If you read the marketing copy of nearly any large hospital or health system, you’ll see references to “state-of-the art equipment” and “cutting-edge technology…. [C]onsumers have a right to expect the claim to be true. But if they or their family members experience delays in care because a doctor hasn’t returned a page, their faith may be shaken.”

Moreover, the beep on a pager doesn’t rise above the constant alarms and sounds of other machines in hospitals or data centers. And often pager holders can sleep through their alarms. At OnPage, we have thought long and hard about how to get users to leave their pagers in place of secure messaging apps. We don’t have a support group for you, but to support you in your journey we do have a well-curated list of ways you can break the message to your pager.

With apologies to Paul Simon, we offer:

50 Ways to leave your pager

Let it slip out the back of the busForget it at a barSit on it
Classify it as ‘medical waste’Let it substitute for a soccer ballSee how well it floats in a pool
Make it your nephew’s favorite new play toyLet it become part of your kids’ doctor kitUse it to test if the laws of gravity are still in effect
Throw it up into the sky to see if it can flyThrow it out a windowUse it to support a wobbly table
Use it as a chip clipLet it become the basis for your science projectUse it for a napkin clip
Make a modern art sculpture out of itUse as a hair clipMake it into a coaster
Make into a centerpiece on the tablePut into the piñata at your kid’s birthdayUse to play fetch with Fido
It can be a fidget toyUse as a recipe holder while you bakeSend it back to the 1980s
Make it the main character in a 1970s playFreeze it and bring it along on your next picnicPlant it in your garden and see what grows
Use it in a prank so that when it goes off, it scares the bejezzus out of themLet it beep and test grandpa’s hearingUse in batting practice
Drop it off at the video store – they are also obsoletePop it in a toaster to see if it’s better after a few minutes on high heatHide it with your record collection
Give it as a wedding gift to your third cousin at his wedding – you didn’t really like him anywayUse in target practice for your bow and arrowDraw a smiley face on it and make it an imaginary friend
Add it to a scavenger hunt. Winner gets 10 of themMount to your dashboard to hold important notesSee how long you can balance it on your head
Send to the local museumChallenge your workout by keeping it on your stomach while you do crunchesUse it to hold your New Year’s resolution on your desk.
See if you can get it to skip across a pondForget it at the beach with your sunglassesUse it to keep the toothpaste rolled up
What happens if you put it in the microwave?Test whether it is “dishwasher-safe”Hollow it out for use as an ant farm
 Use it as a swizzle stick for your favorite cocktailJust set yourself free!



Humor aside, pagers cannot manage critical incidents and are ill equipped to manage modern IT and healthcare needs.  Pagers instead make users take longer to respond to messages, do not ensure user response and are not effective ways for incident resolution. Better pager alternatives are needed that meet the current needs of hospitals , IT centers and the world of IoT. So, get rid of your pager and find a pager replacement.  We recommend trying OnPage – one of the 10 Most Promising Healthcare Communication Solution Providers of 2016.

set yourself free