50 Ways to leave your pager: Why it’s time to think pager replacement.

Why is it time to think about pager replacement?

An effective way to re-use your pager - courtesy of Reddit.
An effective way to re-use your pager – courtesy of Reddit.

Perhaps the need for finding a pager alternative is clear to many realize the inefficiency and time waste caused by using the device. These facts are highlighted in an article from 2014 entitled Why Are Hospitals Still Using Pagers?, Cliff McClintick writes “If you read the marketing copy of nearly any large hospital or health system, you’ll see references to “state-of-the art equipment” and “cutting-edge technology…. [C]onsumers have a right to expect the claim to be true. But if they or their family members experience delays in care because a doctor hasn’t returned a page, their faith may be shaken.”

Moreover, the beep on a pager doesn’t rise above the constant alarms and sounds of other machines in hospitals or data centers. And often pager holders can sleep through their alarms. At OnPage, we have thought long and hard about how to get users to leave their pagers in place of secure messaging apps. We don’t have a support group for you, but to support you in your journey we do have a well-curated list of ways you can break the message to your pager.

With apologies to Paul Simon, we offer:

50 Ways to leave your pager

Let it slip out the back of the bus Forget it at a bar Sit on it
Classify it as ‘medical waste’ Let it substitute for a soccer ball See how well it floats in a pool
Make it your nephew’s favorite new play toy Let it become part of your kids’ doctor kit Use it to test if the laws of gravity are still in effect
Throw it up into the sky to see if it can fly Throw it out a window Use it to support a wobbly table
Use it as a chip clip Let it become the basis for your science project Use it for a napkin clip
Make a modern art sculpture out of it Use as a hair clip Make it into a coaster
Make into a centerpiece on the table Put into the piñata at your kid’s birthday Use to play fetch with Fido
It can be a fidget toy Use as a recipe holder while you bake Send it back to the 1980s
Make it the main character in a 1970s play Freeze it and bring it along on your next picnic Plant it in your garden and see what grows
Use it in a prank so that when it goes off, it scares the bejezzus out of them Let it beep and test grandpa’s hearing Use in batting practice
Drop it off at the video store – they are also obsolete Pop it in a toaster to see if it’s better after a few minutes on high heat Hide it with your record collection
Give it as a wedding gift to your third cousin at his wedding – you didn’t really like him anyway Use in target practice for your bow and arrow Draw a smiley face on it and make it an imaginary friend
Add it to a scavenger hunt. Winner gets 10 of them Mount to your dashboard to hold important notes See how long you can balance it on your head
Send to the local museum Challenge your workout by keeping it on your stomach while you do crunches Use it to hold your New Year’s resolution on your desk.
See if you can get it to skip across a pond Forget it at the beach with your sunglasses Use it to keep the toothpaste rolled up
What happens if you put it in the microwave? Test whether it is “dishwasher-safe” Hollow it out for use as an ant farm
 Use it as a swizzle stick for your favorite cocktail Just set yourself free!



Humor aside, pagers cannot manage critical incidents and are ill equipped to manage modern IT and healthcare needs.  Pagers instead make users take longer to respond to messages, do not ensure user response and are not effective ways for incident resolution. Better pager alternatives are needed that meet the current needs of hospitals , IT centers and the world of IoT. So, get rid of your pager and find a pager replacement.  We recommend trying OnPage – one of the 10 Most Promising Healthcare Communication Solution Providers of 2016.

set yourself free